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Idol Worship

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It’s so lovely being tone deaf!  I can watch American Idol and not even realize when they have missed a note.  I don’t really hear the pitchiness, at all.  Just noticed that spell check says that pitchiness is not even a real word.  Wonder if Jennifer, Randy, and Steven know that?  Oh well, I, being an inventor of words myself; I simply couldn’t care less!!  After all, EVOO, was not a word until Rachel Ray made it one.  (If you don’t know Rachel, well, then God help you!)  Okay, I have just placed that on the to-do list; petition Webster to add “pitchiness” to new edition.  Perhaps some of you, my “loyal dozen” readers (lol) will sign the petition when prepared.  I think I’ll make the wording really short and to the point.  What about this:  “Webster, please add pitchiness to your newest addition.  American Idol simply couldn’t be wrong about this.  Oh, and the definition is just “the act of being pitchy when singing”.”  Okay, now I’m really confused; spell check says that pitchy IS a word.  I’m officially perplexed.  Isn’t it some kind of rule that you can add ‘-iness’ to any adjective to denote the act of said adjective?  All this English is making me dizzy!!  Okay, I ramble again, back to the AI track.  In all my years (about 7) of watching Idol, I have made my personal choice based on a couple of variables.  First is genre.  You know I love rock and roll and if there is a rocker amongst the contestants, I will almost certainly pick him/her.  Secondly, “goose bump factor”, I love anyone who can reach in and grab my heart and just twist it around their little finger.  The third and final thing that I base my voting decision on is “original naturability” (see I like to invent words).  I love to see and hear someone that sounds different from anyone else and who makes it look effortless.  The teachers of the law of attraction all say that living your passion (when you find it) will feel so easy even though you may be working your ass off; so that is probably why that matters to me.

Okay, now let’s get down to brass tacks, here and talk some specifics.  I first want to say that all these kids have already won.  They are barely potty trained at this point and:   (A) they know what they want to do with their lives  (B)  they are exposed to millions and millions of viewers and  (C) they are being mentored by the great Jimmy Iovine and the greatest producers in the music industry.  Jimmy has worked with people you may have heard of.  They are John Lennon, Bruce Springsteen, Stevie Nicks(I think they were actually lovers, too), U2, Mary J. Blige, Eminem, 50 Cent, Lady Gaga and countless others.  He founded Interscope Records.  Let’s just say, he’s a big time hit maker!!  Working with him WILL put them many steps ahead of the curve.  But, there can only be one winner.  Now, I always take a guess in the beginning of the season about who I think “America” will choose.  My answer there is Pia Toscana.  Having said that, I am not usually right with my predictions.  She is the total package, though; and we will see a lot of her in the decades to come.  She is strikingly beautiful and she can deliver a ballad that will bring tears to your eyes.  The judges are very impressed with her consistency.  I would like to see her sing something besides a ballad in the future; but, she might think “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”.  I definitely understand that.  My favorite is of course James Durbin.  He is a rocker through and through.  He sang Bon Jovi ” I’ll be there for you” last night.  He did a great job; although, I  wish  he had chosen a Guns ‘N’ Roses or Aerosmith song…that’s just me.  He has a quality about his voice that reminds me of Axl Rose (lead singer of GNR).  I have to also give great props to Casey and Paul because they are those singers whose voices you will recognize when you hear them on the radio.  They get my “original naturability” award.  Yes, it is a tie; because, I love them both!!  Now, (drum roll, please) the “Goose Bump Award” goes to Jacob Lusk.  He sang “Alone” by Heart.  I never expected him to choose a rock and roll song.  He is such a gospel inspired guy; but, when he delivered that last line,  “‘Til now, I always got by on my own”; it literally “chilled me to the bone” (in case you don’t get it, that’s another line in that song).  His voice is so powerful but he delivered that line with such control, it was haunting!!  I think the Wilson sisters (Heart) are very happy today at how well their song was covered.  Lastly, congrats to all the contestants, they really did great because they DID it!!  All the critics can say what they will; but, it would be a cold day in hell before they would actually get up and sing in front of millions of people.

Well, its over and out then….check this out.  This is Jacob performing “I believe I can Fly”.  This song was written, produced and performed by R&B great, R. Kelly.  Do me a favor, close your eyes and listen to the lyrics; because, if the Law of Attraction had a theme song…this would be it! (Oh, you have to click through to see the video on You Tube..their rule.)

Much Love!!

Lori

PS  I believe I can fly…do you?

watch?v=rfULFvzD3Pg

 

 

 

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Help Wanted

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As the CEO of Hamilton, Inc., I fear I must make a tough decision soon.  Yes, that’s right, I fear that I will soon have to fire my own housekeeper.  I mean, I love her.  She is funny, sweet, charming, and quite a good cleaner…when she actually does it, that is.  She is pleasant and she really loves me, too.  She is like my shadow.  I can’t even go to the bathroom without her on my heels.  And, when I look in the mirror, there she is!  Conversely, she is messy.  She is inconsistent.  She is distracted…she is a fledgling writer as well.  Furthermore, I feel like she is not passionate enough about the job to really do it well…all the time!  Now, when we have guests coming or the doorbell happens to ring or something of that sort, she kicks it in to high gear.  She’s very fast.  She can move around this place like a wildfire when she simply has no other choice.  She even had the audacity to tell me the other day to put all my friends and neighbors on notice and let them know that we need at least 1 hour, but preferably 24 hours notice if they intend to show up for a visit.  Now, doesn’t that kill the spontaneity of a drop by?  The nerve of that woman….

You know what my biggest fear is?  Here’s what…I am afraid that when I break the news to her she will not cry.  She won’t beg me to let her stay on in this capacity.  Perhaps, she will go ahead and send out the invitations to the celebration that she has in mind for this very occasion.  Well, I have to put my pride away, soon, and just do it.  Let reckless abandon take me over.  Oh, and I will be direct, I promise.  I believe in cutting to the chase.  I mean no hurt or disrespect; but, in business you just shouldn’t pussyfoot around.  At least, that has been my experience.  I will try to use as much diplomacy as I can muster.  I will assure her that I want to remain friends.  Hell, she can continue living here under this roof forever, if she wants to.  I don’t mind!  I’ve grown quite attached to her at this point.  She just needs to find her own bliss, you know?  That’s all.  No harm, no foul.  I’ll even let her help me interview her replacement.  On second thought, that will be her last task under my employ, to hire a new housekeeper.

I think the ad that she should place for her successor should go a little like this:  “Please apply as I really want to get the hell out of here.  It is a lovely place to work but I hate cleaning!  Now, don’t even consider applying if you have not been diagnosed with OCD.  Now, I don’t want you to be under medication for the OCD.  I have a different therapy in mind….you can release all the obsessive and compulsive urges right here on my wood floors and my toilets and my oven and all my dusty surfaces.  You need not be as funny as Ellen Degeneres; but, that would put you on the “short” list of ideal candidates.  You will have to want to be a part of a very amusing and wonderful family.  You must love children; especially, the blond haired, blue eyed, angelic female variety.  It wouldn’t hurt if you knew how to boil water so that you may cook up a hot dog or something from time to time.  If you happen to be a gourmet or soul food chef (albeit an amateur), then all the better.  Now, if you can see yourself in this description…if you are this person, please apply immediately!  We desperately want you!!  PS  The paid position is soon to come; but, if you are interested in an unpaid internship for the next 90 days, please go ahead and apply.  We could probably arrange something……”

What do you think?  Oh well, it’s time for me to sing……………..

“Help!  I need somebody

Help!  Not just anybody

Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today

I never needed anybody’s help in any way

But now these days are gone, and I’m not so self assured

Now I find, I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can I’m feeling down and I do appreciate you being round

Help me get my feet up off the ground

Won’t you please, please help me

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways

My independence seems to vanish in the haze

But every now and then I feel so insecure

I know that I just need you like I’ve never done before

Repeat chorus………….”

I know it goes without saying; but, that, my friends, is “Help” by The Beatles.  Can we please give thanks for John (Rest in Peace), Paul, George (Rest in Peace) and Ringo?  The musical world would not be as lovely had they not been a part of it!

Much love!!

Lori

PS  How about when you look in the mirror today, don’t focus on the features that you want surgically replaced, removed, enlarged or reduced and see what is truly looking back at you….your beautiful (inside and out) self!

PPS  Joe Vitale said that your greatest passion can be found hiding underneath the thing that you are most afraid of.  I think he’s right!