I have a question. How important is devout structure when rearing your children? I’m sure the answers for this probably run the gamut; but, I expect the correct answer (at least for me) is that a loose framework is most desirable. I mean, we do the normal structured activities like wake up around the same time each morning, have a little breakfast, dress ourselves, brush our teeth, pack our lunch and leave promptly by 8:40 to arrive at preschool no later than 9 AM. I assure you we are on time at least 95% of the time. I am nothing if not prompt. Also, in harmony with the law of attraction, I always say I am always on time; therefore, I always manage to be on time even when I shouldn’t be. Now, a caveat to that is social endeavors. I may be a few minutes late to those and I will not apologize for that. I simply won’t sweat it. Back to the track…I pick up the munchkin at 1:00 PM daily. I usually arrive at the school at about 12:50. A little girl named Callie once asked me why I was the first parent to arrive for pickup and I simply said, “I just can’t wait to see my angel.” That seemed to satisfy her immensely (& Laney, too). Now, you and I both know that we Moms do enjoy our time away from our little angels but they don’t have to know that now, do they? Okay, onward, here’s where the “loose” part begins. Outside of Mondays when we have gymnastics at 5:10, we really have no other commitments during the week so you may find us at Chick-fil-a or Baskin Robbins or Target, perhaps. These are definitely 3 of our favorite places to kill time, play or get a “prize”. We may go home and practice riding our new Barbie bike or we may sing along with some of our favorite artists who have so graciously donated their videos to You Tube. We quite possibly could be found throwing Daddy’s boxer shorts at each other after collecting them out of the dryer. I suppose to sum it up, we have a lot of silly little play time (not to be confused with Paul McCartney’s “Silly Little Love Songs”) every single day. Perhaps, that is structured. Break to Webster’s…one definition is “a complex construction or entity”. Well perhaps I should have said routine, you know something we do with regularity. Well, in that case, we have a very pleasing routine. I think it has the perfect mix of structure and fluidity. You know, it’s sort of like managed chaos and I am quite comfortable living there. You know, I don’t know if you have ever read any studies related to birth order but they often say that the oldest or first born child is Type “A” and organized, blah..blah..blah and that the baby of the family is a bit scattered if you will. Very loveable and even delightful but not the most organized. This rings so true for me, because I was my mother’s first born. She had me at 18. Additionally, I was like the baby of the family to my Grandparents and little sister to my two aunts, Gloria (16) and Priscilla (11). Furthermore, my lovely sister, Tiffany, wasn’t born until I was 8 (Now she is Type “A” all the way..more on that another day.) That is why I believe I just may be the perfect blend of Type “A” and holy shit!! In addition, I am completely loveable and delightful if I do say so myself. It’s really a blessed thing to be if you can be it ( that A/holyshit blend, that is). Thank you God for giving me this unique placement in our oh so lovely family.
I guess the moral of my story is this, do what the hell you want. Schedule your day your way. Whether rigid or fluid, love your children, play with them, be silly. Allow them all your devotion and compassion and teach them that they can have whatever it is in life that they want. No, I don’t mean materialistically speaking, necessarily, although I certainly intend to show Laney that she is entitled to the best in that regard as well. I remember one day we went to Target and of course we found ourselves in the toy aisle and I never go to Target without preparing to buy something! On this day she kept pointing to things that were above the price range that I intended for this outing. I suppose I intended to spend around $10. So, I kept saying over and over…”No, that is too expensive.” Then she pointed to something in the $20 dollar range. I can’t remember what it was because it was perhaps 30 prizes ago and a few hundred dollars in the past but she said something that I will never forget. “Mommy, is that too expensive for me?” And I’m sure that you know what happened at this point…I bought it without hesitation. I did not pass Go…I did not collect $200. I want Laney to never think of herself as unworthy of anything. I am also not raising her to believe that material things are all that matters. I seem to be struggling with the summation of my point; but I think you get the gist…don’t you? Another thing that I will never say to her is money is hard to come by or money is the root of all evil. We will learn about budgets and whatnots when the time comes, for sure, but I simply will not instill these lies into her little subconscious mind. They are not true, people. Let’s do our children a favor and not tell them that they are. Instead, let’s teach them that an abundant life is in the cards for them. They probably will not have the benefit of social security and pensions to rely on in their future. Frankly, they won’t need it. This generation will be filled with entrepreneurs and renegades that change the face of the economy and the government and the world and that is so exciting to me. But they won’t be prepared if we don’t prepare ourselves to teach them and show them the way. Oh well, I don’t know what else to say so I must sing…oh, and join me, will you?
You’d think that people would have enough of silly love songs
But I look around me and I see it isn’t so…Oh no
Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs
And what’s wrong with that?
I’d like to know…cause here I go….again
I love you….I love you…
I love you…. I love you
I can’t explain the feelings plain to me, say can’t you see?
Ah, she gave me more, she gave it all to me
Now can’t you see
And what’s wrong with that
I need to know, cause here I go again.
I love you, I love you
Love doesn’t come in a minute
Sometimes it doesn’t come at all
I only know that when I’m in it
It isn’t silly..It isn’t silly
It isn’t silly at aaaaallllllllll
I love you….I love you
Those, my friends, are the lovely lyrics written by Paul McCartney and his beloved late wife Linda and performed by “Wings”. Do you know “Wings”? You really should!!
PS: Why is it that I know the lyrics to literally thousands of amazing songs and I can’t remember to put the towels in the dryer? I suppose I’ll never know…just happy to know the lyrics………….